Another month

Just another month till my first 10K run this year and nope, I am NOT in shape at all. Maybe it's because I was forced to take such a long break (6 months of no running what so ever) or maybe it's because I'm getting older (gosh.. now THAT's a scary thought).


When I think back to my youth, age 8 or 9, going on holidays to my grandfather, I loved running. I ran every single day around the lake of St. Moritz. Once around the lake are about 5K ( 3 Miles) and I ran it in 21 minutes. Looking back at this time and my age, I am not really able to figure out, how on earth I was able to run such a fast time and yet, I do have to say, that as a kid, I had tons of energy and was always on the move.

So it come with no surprise, that I am really disappointed with the times I run right now. 5K in 32 - 35 minutes, buuuhuuu. What happened? Where did the speed go? Is it really just age or did something else happen? No matter how I look at it, I can't figure out. Yes I still have the killer instinct... I still wanna be the fastest and give 110% and rather die than give up but something IS missing. Could I only put my finger on it.

Of course I have more weight to carry but I am also much stronger than over 20 years ago. Yes, I do have troubles with my feet and my back but that doesn't stop me from working out. I swim (which I didn't do properly as a kid) and I bike (ok I did that like crazy as a teenager too) and I just try to work out smarter with a plan. As a kid I didn't care, I just put on my gear and went to work out, was it running, horseback riding, snowboarding or the weekly youth- workout Wednesday afternoon. Maybe it is all in my head. Because I expect a lot of myself, have dreams and goals and I do care too much, that I put too much pressure on me? What if I wouldn't give a damn? Would that change my workout, my performance, could I go faster and push myself over the "limit"? As a kid, there was no such thing as "limit".. The sky was wide open and I knew, if I only believe, I can do anything. Getting older and growing "mature" (which I don't think I am fully there yet, thank G-D hahaha.. I still have my silly moments), I fear, that I kinda lost my spirit.

So I am going to set myself a "goal" for next week... run like a was a kid again... not worrying what others around me think or do... just do my thing.. run as fast as I can and most important.. have FUN... because it was fun as a kid .. and it still is... I feel great after the workouts.. when I see that I can actually accomplish so much in such a short time. I still have the thrive. I still have the power and the will and I know that my mental strength is there too... just need to re-discover it. My physical strength was never the problem. I get in shape super fast.

The first day running hurt.. but only three weeks into training of the 10K I ran it under 60 minutes.... I'd say.. for someone who's been out for so long, that's pretty good... so I know.. I have it in me.. I know I can run the 10K in 40-45 minutes... if I only believe in myself... and find the right pace.
Well I am off running and next week I finally go to the gym again and spend more time in the water too. I want to do an open water 1K (just for fun) in about a week. It's a good cause. In Memory of Nadav.

I still have huge goals... huge dreams... and I know a lot